D was talking to me before the trial class today. She asked if I was still interested in Jazz.

I told her as a matter of fact that I was, it is just that I couldn't make it for the days as of now.

And then she asked me about my lyrical Jazz class that day. I said it was difficult but I still wanted to do it. I said I will probably sign up for the next class.

She actually could remember I am doing hip hop with them as well.

And then at some point in the conversation, I told her I was doing yoga.

Before I knew it, I was telling her my intention to become a professional tap dancer, and that I was doing all that I can to build myself up now.

She was quite intrigued and she was actually very supportive!

And then guess what. She said the weirdest thing. She said I am actually quite good at Jazz. She said she had seen me in class and I looked good.

Huh? Are you serious?

...

I didn't go for the audition in the end.

I had thought about it long and hard. Really.

And yes, I do admit that I had really thought I could just go and enjoy the experience.

But I realize, no, I just couldn't--at least not now--put my ego on the line.

I will go, one day, the one day I am good enough, the one day I feel I am good enough.

And it is not like it will not come. I can feel it already. Although I do really wonder if I am imaging it, or is it really happening?

...

Sometimes I forget why I am doing it.

And then at the end of the day...I remember.

And then however other people think doesn't matter anymore. Because I just need to enjoy the process and the fact that this is my life and I call the shots.

Give me another 6-8 months. I will show you what i have become.

I will, if you have the patience to wait.