I realize I have been full of annoyances lately.

Is the problem lying with me?

Highly likely, I think.

...

When she threw at the door, I felt disappointment. And anger.

I wouldn't do such things.

Even when I was angry.

And I am reminded of the incident when she threw the red packet of money at me, ranting "I don't want it!"

Is this how she is? Should I be just taking it down like that?

No, no. When I say take it down, I don't mean that I want revenge or anything.

It is just that I don't think I deserve this.

I think I deserve better.

I do not deserve to be shouted at and cursed when it is not my fault.

Nor do I deserve to be subjected to cynicism and sarcasm.

And no, I don't have an enlarged ego.

In contrast, I am working on my ego because I have so little of it.

So little that everyone capitalizes on it and bullies me as a result.

...

You know, I have always thought the world is a nice and happy place.

But as I have found out after this commitment, it is not the case.

And actually, at home, there is already a classic case. I just hadn't taken notice.

I guess it is partly my fault that I didn't get good genes and hence can't look pretty.

But then I can't control the fact if you choose to be skin-deep and judge a person based on the way he/she looks.

Does it bother me?

Yes, I have to admit.

But at the end of the day, I realize it is better that way.

Because our paths won't need to cross too much and I wouldn't need to bother too much with you.

You can be selfish all you want. I don't care.

All I need to, and will, do, is to keep my distance from you.

But there are so many of you. That makes me scared.

...

One year later, I will leave the house.

I don't know where I will go but I will.

I don't know where I can go, but I will.